rock fan: rap sucks, they don’t talk about anything that matters
the beatles: I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus, goo goo goo joob

Quit smiling, you’re supposed to be a professional!



who here knows how to dismantle a security camera

everybody on here always acts like some criminal mastermind when in reality 40 of you guys told me to smash it with a rock and at least 3 told me to seduce it

I know I’ve got a big ego, I really don’t know why it’s such a big deal though


When you lose your stingray but then you find it again


Five Nights at Freddie Mercury’s


when im dead sext me through a ouija board


whenever i feel sad i remember im way hotter than i was three years ago

wipes tears


I think it’s time for us to say good-bye to this place. We must return to the world above! Back to our ocean!